No!

What is the newest trend of the internet world? Seems to be blogs are, so I decided to join the "in" crowd. The first thing that i thought was , what am I going to post about? is my life that interesting to even "write" about, although I've been told I could write a soap opera ... ha ha

So today i had to tell the genrel manager I work, no. Seems so simple. It's such a small word with such big meaning. I hate saying no. I'm such a people pleaser. Why do i have to be given these kinds of decisioins anyways?? I was dreading if all weekend. I knew I couldn't hide from it. And, sure I could say yes , to a postion I'd hate, but then i would just be miserable. And , to say yes to something Id hate didn't seem to make sense. So there I was this morning sitting in my lawn chair while Mallory chased a ball around the yard with the phone in my hand, stomach in knots. I opened my phone, got out the number and dialed. My heart raced. No answer, which made it worse because I just wanted to get it over with. I don't know why saying no was such a big deal. But it was. So ten minutes later.... no answer. Now I'm getting anxious. I really want to be done with this and get my simple NO out. So ten mintues ago I finally got my no out. It was a short conversation. I told her why I didnt want to do it and that if it had been a differnt postion I would have probably said yes. But that postion was not for me. She took it fine, well, from what I could tell anyways. So now my stomach has settled, for the most part and now I can work without worry, for today. How funny, that when I go to tell my children no, it comes out so quick without thought, but to tell someone else no, it seems like a job.