That people are going to judge you no matter what
That if you tell someone yes once, they are going to keep expecting it from you
That magic erasers don't really get marker off the wall
no matter how much you clean it's never "spotless"
Grocery's cost way to much
If I had anymore kids I'd have to be put away
Excdrine migrane works great
it's just way to hard to keep my car clean
i hate my job and want/need a new one
I'm so glad school is starting back for Mason
I need a nap
Friday, August 29, 2008
Friday Five...
Five things I did today...
1. Went grocery shopping and spent way to much money
2. Had lunch at a chinese buffett
3. Cleaned my disgusting bathroom
4. Put chicken in the crockpot
5. Took something for this headache I have
1. Went grocery shopping and spent way to much money
2. Had lunch at a chinese buffett
3. Cleaned my disgusting bathroom
4. Put chicken in the crockpot
5. Took something for this headache I have
Diary of a stay at home dad part 3
So here we are, another week of absolute fun!
Monday August 25th.
This day was pretty uneventful. Except we did adopt Katie. ( Not really) A 10-year old space cadet who runs on Duracell batteries. Her questions are not without praise.
" Are you an author?"
" Yes."
" What kind of books do you write?"
" Ones you can read."
She is a good kid. Annoying.
Tuesday August 26th.
I always make sure my wife can sleep in, especially if she works late the night before. I rely on Mallory of course. If Mallory were paid for performance she would be given a weekly raise. She managed to replace my pillow with her body. I awoke with her giggling. I made coffee, shut the bedroom door so Johnna could sleep. Did my usual routine of dishes and finding something edible for breakfast. Last week I went to pour milk in my coffee but the milk fell in. Mason asked me something different for a change. He asked me if I liked Pokemon. The weird feeling of discourse followed by Déjà vu is filling my barren subconscious with insanity.
The new thing is Bakugon. I can’t wait to meet the owner of the Toy Company and shake his hand. And then I’ll take him out to dinner where I will appropriately strangle him with a piano wire. I spent the day yelling "STOP IT"! to both my kids. Mason is very passive. Mallory isn’t. Even though she’s 2 years old, she bullies Mason. When I tell her to stop, she does. It lasts a whole five minutes. I never had these problems with Mason. Mason’s a good kid trapped in a world that I fear for him. Mallory is Satan trapped in a cute kid’s body. I do love them both!
Wednesday August 27th
You art fans may think the legendary Bob Ross has died. While doing some walking around my own home, I found out Bob Ross is alive! I guess it’s hard to remember how to paint though. I guess when you’re undead, your skills aren’t what they used to be. Five of our walls are illustrated with red magic marker squibbles. I also found out Bob Ross came back as a little cute girl smiling and holding a magic marker in her hand. Cleaning marker off the walls is just about as much fun as a proctologist exam on a nude beach…
Thursday August 28th
Why do kids ( after you’ve told them a million times that you don’t like Pokemon not only ignore it, ) they actually ask you what color you like better? I guess I’d have to say red would be the color I pick. Because it’s the only color I’ve been seeing lately. In the meantime, Johnna has me rolling with laughter when I say, calmly
" Mason, go play. I don’t like pokemon."
" It’s not Pokemon…it’s Bakugon …fucker!" My wife says with laughter.
Oh Johnna.
I stayed home with the kids. Magic eraser, Mr. Fucking clean sucks according to my wife.
" I thought it was supposed to get the stuff off the walls?" she says.
" Cleans up all the possibilities…my ass," she says.
She went out with a bunch of friends and saw a hip hop concert with some famous hip hopsters while I stayed home with an all star performance of Mallory and Mason’s mess up the living room show! Tickets are on sale all day. And you’ll get a history lesson FOR FREE on Pokemon!. While I respect all forms of music. Hip Hop, Rap, and Country are not on my list of listening pleasure. Still, anything is better than Mallory screaming, whining, and Mason living in a cartoon.
While eating at a Chinese restaurant today I happened upon several dishes of delicacies. Johnna and I engaged in a conversation about adult tidings. ( Sex) mostly. It was then when it was made clear how simple all life can be, if you think like your children. While at the climax of our conversation, Johnna and I were having a friendly debate. That was, until Mason chimed in with a relative question.
" Hey dad, would…would it hurt if you ripped all the feathers out of a peacock?"
We laughed of course. I envy my kids because life at the age of adolescence is so innocent. You are a sponge. And you absorb everything. We got fortune cookies at the end of our meal. Everyone opened theirs, even Mallory, who for once, pulled the fortune out of the cookie before grinding it up in her mouth.
So I’ll end this week’s diary on what my fortune said. It was short, weird, and undeniably creepy.
" Everything ends
Monday August 25th.
This day was pretty uneventful. Except we did adopt Katie. ( Not really) A 10-year old space cadet who runs on Duracell batteries. Her questions are not without praise.
" Are you an author?"
" Yes."
" What kind of books do you write?"
" Ones you can read."
She is a good kid. Annoying.
Tuesday August 26th.
I always make sure my wife can sleep in, especially if she works late the night before. I rely on Mallory of course. If Mallory were paid for performance she would be given a weekly raise. She managed to replace my pillow with her body. I awoke with her giggling. I made coffee, shut the bedroom door so Johnna could sleep. Did my usual routine of dishes and finding something edible for breakfast. Last week I went to pour milk in my coffee but the milk fell in. Mason asked me something different for a change. He asked me if I liked Pokemon. The weird feeling of discourse followed by Déjà vu is filling my barren subconscious with insanity.
The new thing is Bakugon. I can’t wait to meet the owner of the Toy Company and shake his hand. And then I’ll take him out to dinner where I will appropriately strangle him with a piano wire. I spent the day yelling "STOP IT"! to both my kids. Mason is very passive. Mallory isn’t. Even though she’s 2 years old, she bullies Mason. When I tell her to stop, she does. It lasts a whole five minutes. I never had these problems with Mason. Mason’s a good kid trapped in a world that I fear for him. Mallory is Satan trapped in a cute kid’s body. I do love them both!
Wednesday August 27th
You art fans may think the legendary Bob Ross has died. While doing some walking around my own home, I found out Bob Ross is alive! I guess it’s hard to remember how to paint though. I guess when you’re undead, your skills aren’t what they used to be. Five of our walls are illustrated with red magic marker squibbles. I also found out Bob Ross came back as a little cute girl smiling and holding a magic marker in her hand. Cleaning marker off the walls is just about as much fun as a proctologist exam on a nude beach…
Thursday August 28th
Why do kids ( after you’ve told them a million times that you don’t like Pokemon not only ignore it, ) they actually ask you what color you like better? I guess I’d have to say red would be the color I pick. Because it’s the only color I’ve been seeing lately. In the meantime, Johnna has me rolling with laughter when I say, calmly
" Mason, go play. I don’t like pokemon."
" It’s not Pokemon…it’s Bakugon …fucker!" My wife says with laughter.
Oh Johnna.
I stayed home with the kids. Magic eraser, Mr. Fucking clean sucks according to my wife.
" I thought it was supposed to get the stuff off the walls?" she says.
" Cleans up all the possibilities…my ass," she says.
She went out with a bunch of friends and saw a hip hop concert with some famous hip hopsters while I stayed home with an all star performance of Mallory and Mason’s mess up the living room show! Tickets are on sale all day. And you’ll get a history lesson FOR FREE on Pokemon!. While I respect all forms of music. Hip Hop, Rap, and Country are not on my list of listening pleasure. Still, anything is better than Mallory screaming, whining, and Mason living in a cartoon.
While eating at a Chinese restaurant today I happened upon several dishes of delicacies. Johnna and I engaged in a conversation about adult tidings. ( Sex) mostly. It was then when it was made clear how simple all life can be, if you think like your children. While at the climax of our conversation, Johnna and I were having a friendly debate. That was, until Mason chimed in with a relative question.
" Hey dad, would…would it hurt if you ripped all the feathers out of a peacock?"
We laughed of course. I envy my kids because life at the age of adolescence is so innocent. You are a sponge. And you absorb everything. We got fortune cookies at the end of our meal. Everyone opened theirs, even Mallory, who for once, pulled the fortune out of the cookie before grinding it up in her mouth.
So I’ll end this week’s diary on what my fortune said. It was short, weird, and undeniably creepy.
" Everything ends
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
20 things about me
1. I had my first child at 20
2. I've had 4 surgery's
3. I have a tatoo on my lower back of a j
4. I have always been overweight
5. I smoke
6. I've been trying to quit for a few months now
7. that i started back this past nov and it was the dumbest thing I've ever done
8. I love to play sing star with Mason on ps2
9. My hubby does more cleaning then i do
10. I haven't worn a dress in probably a year
11. My fav months are Oct - Dec
12. Eric and I weren't married when we had Mason
13. We got married 4 years later
14. I have been to church in a few months
15. I have family in Missouri that i haven't seen since my grandmother passed away almost 3 years ago
16. I hear strange noises outside my window right now and it's creeping me out
17. I can't wait for Monday because my fav show comes back!
18. I am dreading fall even though i love it because I don't want to rake leaves
19. Iam going to cry when I turn 30
20 . I sleep on the left side of the bed (if you are looking at it)
2. I've had 4 surgery's
3. I have a tatoo on my lower back of a j
4. I have always been overweight
5. I smoke
6. I've been trying to quit for a few months now
7. that i started back this past nov and it was the dumbest thing I've ever done
8. I love to play sing star with Mason on ps2
9. My hubby does more cleaning then i do
10. I haven't worn a dress in probably a year
11. My fav months are Oct - Dec
12. Eric and I weren't married when we had Mason
13. We got married 4 years later
14. I have been to church in a few months
15. I have family in Missouri that i haven't seen since my grandmother passed away almost 3 years ago
16. I hear strange noises outside my window right now and it's creeping me out
17. I can't wait for Monday because my fav show comes back!
18. I am dreading fall even though i love it because I don't want to rake leaves
19. Iam going to cry when I turn 30
20 . I sleep on the left side of the bed (if you are looking at it)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Two For Tuesday
Two things I need to do this week......
* Clean out my closet...serisouly it needs to be cleaned out :)
*Clean up my yard..There are a millon cig butts in my back yard lol Eric and i need to get out there and work together.
If I get my camera back from my manager i will take before and after pics!
* Clean out my closet...serisouly it needs to be cleaned out :)
*Clean up my yard..There are a millon cig butts in my back yard lol Eric and i need to get out there and work together.
If I get my camera back from my manager i will take before and after pics!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Almost...
I sometimes get a little jealous of my kidless friends who are single and can do what they want. I mean, i'm sure we all get a little jealous now and then. So friday night, with my hubby's permission I went to my manager's house for a little party. I walked into their spotless , kidless house and looked around. Booze covered the counter. I walked into the living room where not one speck of dust lived. No toys covered the floor. It was quiet. So we drank, acted silly, played some drinking games , got way to drunk and really had a great time. At 1 am a friend drove me home. I was not in the shape to be driving at all. It was the drunkest I have ever been in my life.
They have parties like that a lot and get together where a bunch of them will play games and have fun. On the ride home I thought about how nice it must be to be able to live that way and do what you want, when you want. Then I got home.
My wonderful hubby greeted me at the door and let me, but not before laughing at me. I crawled into bed, with the room spining and fell asleep. I awoke at 8am to the voices of my kids. I crawled out of bed and as soon as I opened my doorI was greeted by my 2 year old. She pracitically leaped into my arms and said "mommy!". My son followed and started in telling me stories about his morning so far and what he did the night before. I looked around , and the living room was covered with toys. Pokemon cards were laid out on the floor along with baby dolls and play purses. I smiled. I though, perhaps it isn't me who should be jealous of them, but them who should be jealous of me. I have a wonderful husband and two wonderful kids. And so what if my home isn't always spotless, and so what that I can't stay up half the night doing what I want. I wouldnt change this for the world.
I was almost jealous of my friends...almost
They have parties like that a lot and get together where a bunch of them will play games and have fun. On the ride home I thought about how nice it must be to be able to live that way and do what you want, when you want. Then I got home.
My wonderful hubby greeted me at the door and let me, but not before laughing at me. I crawled into bed, with the room spining and fell asleep. I awoke at 8am to the voices of my kids. I crawled out of bed and as soon as I opened my doorI was greeted by my 2 year old. She pracitically leaped into my arms and said "mommy!". My son followed and started in telling me stories about his morning so far and what he did the night before. I looked around , and the living room was covered with toys. Pokemon cards were laid out on the floor along with baby dolls and play purses. I smiled. I though, perhaps it isn't me who should be jealous of them, but them who should be jealous of me. I have a wonderful husband and two wonderful kids. And so what if my home isn't always spotless, and so what that I can't stay up half the night doing what I want. I wouldnt change this for the world.
I was almost jealous of my friends...almost
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday Five
Five Pictures from this week!!
This picture was after the park and she fell asleep eating ice cream. She went in the tub as she as she was awake!!
This picture was after the park and she fell asleep eating ice cream. She went in the tub as she as she was awake!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Diary of a stay at home dad - week 2
Here it is again, another of my hubby's wonderful writing. Before I paste it I just wanted to remind you all that I did give him permission to say whatever he felt, so with that said there are a few, "bad" words as Mason would say. But hey, if your going to write about it, it might as well be "real".
Thanks again to my hubby, for doing this!
So here we are again as promised, like a mom to be… ready for her epidoral. I stand to deliver as a stay at home Dad…
MON AUGUST 18th-
I awoke to the rush of disappointment. Mallory and Mason were at it. Mallory is nature’s alarm clock for sure. There is nothing more exciting then awakening at 7:45 in the morning to her angry growling. She screams like any other kid when she wants her way. But her growls are a whole other matter. It cuts through you like glass. I went out to the living room and saw toys and other things scattered across the living room rug. My father –in-law has turned the kitchen into the cooking with Bobby Flay show. I realize I have my day cut out for me. On top of everything else I feel sick to my stomach from drinking the worst beer in the world the night prior. My means of escape is reading a good book, or writing in my current novel. Hopefully, this new book I’m writing will sell enough to allow me my aspirations of buying a thicker wall so I can’t hear Mallory and Mason antagonizing each other every morning. It’s like clockwork. I have to yell, "STOP IT!" every five minutes. It’s only when I get up and stomp like a TIN SOLDIER, does anyone listen.
Tuesday August 19th
My wife is off. Yay! Let her deal with the magic marker monster and the questions about pokemon. As it turns out, the day was really swell, although I can’t escape the feeling of worthlessness. What does stay at home parents have to show for their work really? Work that never goes away. It’s like a continuing dream. You clean, sweep, and do everything in your power to make things right. And the end result is just more whining, crying, and spilling of coffee grounds from shaky hands. Johnna gave me a good break though. She got the kids out of here and went to the park. I worked on my novel some more and burned my hand with a cigarette.
Wednesday August 20th
Probably the worst day since we’ve moved into our new place. I awoke rather peacefully which should’ve been a sign. The calm before the storm. However, I saw the mess my children had made in the house. The rug was especially devastating. Mallory had managed to take a box of nerd candies and for whatever reason turn herself into a human helicopter and throw them around the room. I’ve been trying on different colors of straight jackets ever since. The vacuum cleaner doesn’t work. So I cleaned all day. I sent out e-mails to my cohorts and cleaned some more. My wife and I had a bit of a fight. She said the house looked bad. I got pissed. More pissed than usual. I think you women have it worse because nobody appreciates what you do. I felt that way today. I cleaned and did the best I could all day only to be told " I’m worthless." I know that’s not what was said, but that’s what you hear in-between the words. I spent the remaining evening arguing with my wife while her top lip pointed at the floor and her bottom one curled down like a leaf burning at its edges. Mallory looked the same way. She even sleeps that way.
Thursday August 20th,
Mason awoke me this time. His loud mouth and laughter ( he’s just a kid, he can’t help it. I want to sew his lips shut.) was laughing at his pop-pop. I awoke earlier then usual, drank some coffee and chased ants. I emptied trash, swept the floors twice and thought about yesterday’s fight. It left an impression on me. I went over everything twice. Which may have been the intention of mentioning it in the first place, to get me to do the best, ( or at least better) then again, perhaps I’m overintellectualizing. Mason asked me ( like he asks me everyday) if I like Pokemon. I love Pokemon. In fact, if I met Pokemon, I’d murder him with an icepick. And I’d dance in his blood while screaming peekachu!
Then Mason says the most wonderful thing.
" Daddy, you know I love you right?"
"Right."
" If you die…may I have your Joker doll?"
" Yes Mason." I laugh.
Today was just like the others. As I write this, my wife is going crazy with Mallory and Mason teasing each other with food and toys. As a matter of fact, Johnna has lost her mind in many ways. I just noticed she’s been standing behind me while I’m writing this. The following is the conversation that commenced.
" Can I write this in peace?" I asked her.
" No you fucking can’t," she said.
See you next Friday!
Eric-
Thanks again to my hubby, for doing this!
So here we are again as promised, like a mom to be… ready for her epidoral. I stand to deliver as a stay at home Dad…
MON AUGUST 18th-
I awoke to the rush of disappointment. Mallory and Mason were at it. Mallory is nature’s alarm clock for sure. There is nothing more exciting then awakening at 7:45 in the morning to her angry growling. She screams like any other kid when she wants her way. But her growls are a whole other matter. It cuts through you like glass. I went out to the living room and saw toys and other things scattered across the living room rug. My father –in-law has turned the kitchen into the cooking with Bobby Flay show. I realize I have my day cut out for me. On top of everything else I feel sick to my stomach from drinking the worst beer in the world the night prior. My means of escape is reading a good book, or writing in my current novel. Hopefully, this new book I’m writing will sell enough to allow me my aspirations of buying a thicker wall so I can’t hear Mallory and Mason antagonizing each other every morning. It’s like clockwork. I have to yell, "STOP IT!" every five minutes. It’s only when I get up and stomp like a TIN SOLDIER, does anyone listen.
Tuesday August 19th
My wife is off. Yay! Let her deal with the magic marker monster and the questions about pokemon. As it turns out, the day was really swell, although I can’t escape the feeling of worthlessness. What does stay at home parents have to show for their work really? Work that never goes away. It’s like a continuing dream. You clean, sweep, and do everything in your power to make things right. And the end result is just more whining, crying, and spilling of coffee grounds from shaky hands. Johnna gave me a good break though. She got the kids out of here and went to the park. I worked on my novel some more and burned my hand with a cigarette.
Wednesday August 20th
Probably the worst day since we’ve moved into our new place. I awoke rather peacefully which should’ve been a sign. The calm before the storm. However, I saw the mess my children had made in the house. The rug was especially devastating. Mallory had managed to take a box of nerd candies and for whatever reason turn herself into a human helicopter and throw them around the room. I’ve been trying on different colors of straight jackets ever since. The vacuum cleaner doesn’t work. So I cleaned all day. I sent out e-mails to my cohorts and cleaned some more. My wife and I had a bit of a fight. She said the house looked bad. I got pissed. More pissed than usual. I think you women have it worse because nobody appreciates what you do. I felt that way today. I cleaned and did the best I could all day only to be told " I’m worthless." I know that’s not what was said, but that’s what you hear in-between the words. I spent the remaining evening arguing with my wife while her top lip pointed at the floor and her bottom one curled down like a leaf burning at its edges. Mallory looked the same way. She even sleeps that way.
Thursday August 20th,
Mason awoke me this time. His loud mouth and laughter ( he’s just a kid, he can’t help it. I want to sew his lips shut.) was laughing at his pop-pop. I awoke earlier then usual, drank some coffee and chased ants. I emptied trash, swept the floors twice and thought about yesterday’s fight. It left an impression on me. I went over everything twice. Which may have been the intention of mentioning it in the first place, to get me to do the best, ( or at least better) then again, perhaps I’m overintellectualizing. Mason asked me ( like he asks me everyday) if I like Pokemon. I love Pokemon. In fact, if I met Pokemon, I’d murder him with an icepick. And I’d dance in his blood while screaming peekachu!
Then Mason says the most wonderful thing.
" Daddy, you know I love you right?"
"Right."
" If you die…may I have your Joker doll?"
" Yes Mason." I laugh.
Today was just like the others. As I write this, my wife is going crazy with Mallory and Mason teasing each other with food and toys. As a matter of fact, Johnna has lost her mind in many ways. I just noticed she’s been standing behind me while I’m writing this. The following is the conversation that commenced.
" Can I write this in peace?" I asked her.
" No you fucking can’t," she said.
See you next Friday!
Eric-
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Memory Keeper's Daughter..
No this is not a book review, although I did read the book about a year or so ago and it was awsome. It made me mad, sad and happy all at the same time. I couldn't put the book down and read it in just two days, which for me, is a big thing because I never read that fast unless i love a book.
Ok, so on to the point of this blog. I was flipping through the free movies on our on demand and saw that it was a lifetime movie too!! I was so excited. I was jumping up and down and sent the kids off to their room to watch tv and play and told them to stay (which for the most part they did..yay!) I asked Eric to watch it with me because I was telling him how great the book was,so he peeled himself away from the computer (which I know was hard to do) and sat with me.
Let me tell you, this movie was just as great as the book!! Sometimes I'm weary of movies after i've read the book because lots of times the movie ruins the book for me. But this just made it that much more better and the movie followed the book very well. I was surprised. And Eric loved it just as much and said it was a great story and now he wants to read the book!
I don't get much time to sit down and watch a good movie, so it was so nice to be able to tonight. A great way to end the day!
So if you haven't yet, go get the book and read, or email me masenmalmom@hotmail.com and I will send it to ya.
and if you have read it, watch the movie!! GREAT!!
Ok, so on to the point of this blog. I was flipping through the free movies on our on demand and saw that it was a lifetime movie too!! I was so excited. I was jumping up and down and sent the kids off to their room to watch tv and play and told them to stay (which for the most part they did..yay!) I asked Eric to watch it with me because I was telling him how great the book was,so he peeled himself away from the computer (which I know was hard to do) and sat with me.
Let me tell you, this movie was just as great as the book!! Sometimes I'm weary of movies after i've read the book because lots of times the movie ruins the book for me. But this just made it that much more better and the movie followed the book very well. I was surprised. And Eric loved it just as much and said it was a great story and now he wants to read the book!
I don't get much time to sit down and watch a good movie, so it was so nice to be able to tonight. A great way to end the day!
So if you haven't yet, go get the book and read, or email me masenmalmom@hotmail.com and I will send it to ya.
and if you have read it, watch the movie!! GREAT!!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
10 things I want to acomplish in my lifetime
1. Take a hot air balloon ride
2. Go skiing
3. Do some volunteer work at the homeless shelter up the rode (or any shelter)
4. Fly to another country (like Italy, or maybe London??)
5. Learn to sew
6. Take a ride on a motorcycle
7. Take a cruise
8. Drive across country and take pics of every state sign i come too
9. Meet some of my online friends
10.Raise my kids to be the best they can be
2. Go skiing
3. Do some volunteer work at the homeless shelter up the rode (or any shelter)
4. Fly to another country (like Italy, or maybe London??)
5. Learn to sew
6. Take a ride on a motorcycle
7. Take a cruise
8. Drive across country and take pics of every state sign i come too
9. Meet some of my online friends
10.Raise my kids to be the best they can be
Friday, August 15, 2008
Diary of a Stay At Home Dad
Yesterday I asked Eric if he would mind being a guest blogger for my blog. I told him I wanted him to start keeping a diary of his days as a stay at home father. I told him he can write about anything that comes to mind and how he is feeling at the time. He writes for a living so I knew this would come easy for him, and he was actully excited about dong it.
I am going to keep this going for a month or so and do one entry a week (Friday's).
So here it is.. Entry 1. I was actully quite impressed.
And thanks to my wonderful hubby for doing this!
The diary of a stay at home Father…
Entry#1: August 14th 2008
(An Introduction)
My name is Eric Enck. I’m a known horror writer and more importantly, a known Father and husband. My wife came to me today wanting to know if I’d be interested in writing a journal based on my life as a stay at home father so she could share it with her associates. Considering most families (or at least a large percentage of them) both parents work. Or, usually the woman is the one to storm the diaper and dish war, while Daddy-o goes off to bring home the bacon.
Not so for me.
Over the course of the next several weeks, I will be profiling my life on a daily basis. I would like to give perspective to the modicum of information out there on stay at home dads. The world itself is no longer straight. There are lots of curves, realities and roles have changed. There is no longer (in my opinion) a right way and a wrong way of who works and who stays home. The fact of the matter is, situation based…it’s whatever works for you in your family.
So I’ll begin with today, August 14th 2008. I awoke at 7:45 in the morning not to the pitter patter of little feet, but to the whispers in my ear.
" Daddy," Mallory said. Mallory is our youngest child. She was born in the same month as my wife, and can be as adorable as anyone’s child, but she also has a bit of my own temperament. And the greatest casualty of diaper war, is that it’s hard to win against an opponent who acts a lot like yourself.
" Daddy…juice,"
I didn’t want Johnna to awake. After all, she is the one that works for a living. I make money being an author, but lets be honest, most people don’t consider that real work. Even big time best sellers are often ridiculed for it. I feel on a daily basis that sometimes I’m not good enough for my own family. It has a lot to do with the work. I thought that way this morning while pouring Mallory her juice, and watching her pull her " Night Nights" off on her own to go " pee pee." Everything is said in double when you’re younger.
When I look at my kids I envy them. I wish sometimes that I could go back in time and live those years all over again. Then again, my parents were quite abusive and taught me what not to teach my own children through their actions.
" Juice Daddy."
I turned and saw Mallory had poured her juice all over the floor. I stopped trying to figure out what I would cook for breakfast, and then got on my hands and knees and wiped the spill. I did a few dishes and made some coffee and breakfast. Johnna awoke around 9:45 and wanted to know why I left her sleep so late?
She works for a living, so I felt she deserved it.
She also wanted to know why there was an ANT floating in her coffee?
I can’t answer that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve steadily worked as a blue-collar employee since I was 12 years old. I worked for my mother at her answering service under the table. I had several jobs throughout my life. I mow the grass, still do heavy lifting and other "manly" things. I worked in construction for four years until I was laid off. Six months later my first novel came out.
But staying at home with kids whose eyes tell you that they depend on you is a bigger task then any cop, lawyer, writer, Doctor, blu-collar employee etc…
It’s the biggest job in the world because in a lot of ways, I got three people to answer too. Like a few jobs out there, most people answer to one boss. I answer to three.
" Juice Daddy," Mallory says. This time she is nude and has her dress wrapped around the top of her head like an Arab.
So in comes my son. He’s hungry. I fix everyone breakfast just in time to vacuum the floors, which I don’t get to do because I’m doing the dishes, while my wife gets ready for work. I pick up Mallory’s toys and put them in her room. Three dishes later, I come to find our house must be haunted because all the toys are back out in the living room. And Mallory no longer has her dress around her head thank god. No…Mallory has decided to turn her feet into coloring books.
So I try to wipe them clean. And magic marker isn’t exactly like the normal dirt you find outside. I help her with her feet, and then eventually my wife goes to work. I’m left with two content children who watch television while I finish my chores and think about the next scenes that I want to write in my new novel. I even sit down to approach this task, only to have my son tell me he’s " hungry."
So I break away from the book. ( I usually write 5,000-10,000 words a day) but that generally depends on what new fascination Mallory has. Pulling the wings off moths and then crying about it? Breaking her crayons? Just a few days ago she drew all over her face with a kids magic marker and I thought the rock band Kiss had a long lost member they were looking for.
So I push more deadlines to the side, and do what is expected of me. All I hope for is my wife to still love me, and for me to still be good at baby dancing, and for any fortune I make to be split among them. The main thing is that I still want respect. I imagine a lot of mothers who stay at home don’t get the respect they deserve. Not just from husbands, but from the kids as well.
I make french fries for Mason, because like I said, he’s hungry.
I spill the french fries all over the floor.
I make more french fries.
He doesn’t eat them.
Part of that reason, is because his Pop Pop comes home with a happy meal. And we all know how kids like those things. I end up eating more then my fair share of fries, and feel just about as much like writing the next gory scene in my book, as a man on death row feels like gardening.
Around the time my Father-in-law tucks himself away, the kids become reclusive. They sit together and every so often I hear Mallory complain by growling and hollering at Mason (who was doing nothing wrong.) I break that up, only had to do it once, twice, ten times and I go about my way, finally sitting down to write in my novel. I’m about to do a scene where a lunatic is hiding from an unsuspecting woman in a morgue when I feel a tap on my side. I turn and see Mallory with one of my t-shirts turned into what I can only assume is a dress. Her legs are sticking through the armholes and her arms and head through the other places.
" Daddy…juice."
I get her juice. I congratulate her on peeing in the potty. (We’re in the midst of potty training) and I listen to one of the most engaging stories from my 8-year old. Mason knows more about Pokemon, than the entire state of New Orleans knows about ghosts. One kid won’t stop jabbering, and the other is laughing and playing loudly with her toys.
Still, I smile and agree. Concurrence is often mistaken for senility. I don’t think so, because I love my kids and my wife and would kill for them before the next beating of a heart. It was nice to get some quiet time when 8:30 came. Mason announces that he’s going to bed and gives me a hug. Mallory follows suit because she’s in that copycat stage. I tuck them in.
I come back and start all over. The living room is filled with toys and dishes need done and this first entry to the diary needs written, but I’ll find time. I don’t believe there is actual minutes. I think sometimes there are lapses between seconds. It’s how I get things done.
Since this is an introduction, next Friday I will have a whole week’s worth of entries. They will be considerably shorter. Oh and one more thing. As I was writing this, my wife calls me. Here is the conversation that took place:
" Hello?" I said.
" Do we have any corn beef left?"
" I’m not sure."
" Can you go check?"
" Sure. Give me a second. I’m writing in this diary."
" NEVERMIND!"
Click.
Someone is having a bad night at work. So I call back.
" Do you want me to make you a sandwich?" I ask.
" No…that’s alright because I don’t know if I want tomato or corn beef."
" Are you sure?"
" Yeah I’m sure. I’ll just make it when I get home."
" Okay," I said.
" Make me a sandwich," she said.
See you next week my friends.
Eric Enck
Signing off-
I am going to keep this going for a month or so and do one entry a week (Friday's).
So here it is.. Entry 1. I was actully quite impressed.
And thanks to my wonderful hubby for doing this!
The diary of a stay at home Father…
Entry#1: August 14th 2008
(An Introduction)
My name is Eric Enck. I’m a known horror writer and more importantly, a known Father and husband. My wife came to me today wanting to know if I’d be interested in writing a journal based on my life as a stay at home father so she could share it with her associates. Considering most families (or at least a large percentage of them) both parents work. Or, usually the woman is the one to storm the diaper and dish war, while Daddy-o goes off to bring home the bacon.
Not so for me.
Over the course of the next several weeks, I will be profiling my life on a daily basis. I would like to give perspective to the modicum of information out there on stay at home dads. The world itself is no longer straight. There are lots of curves, realities and roles have changed. There is no longer (in my opinion) a right way and a wrong way of who works and who stays home. The fact of the matter is, situation based…it’s whatever works for you in your family.
So I’ll begin with today, August 14th 2008. I awoke at 7:45 in the morning not to the pitter patter of little feet, but to the whispers in my ear.
" Daddy," Mallory said. Mallory is our youngest child. She was born in the same month as my wife, and can be as adorable as anyone’s child, but she also has a bit of my own temperament. And the greatest casualty of diaper war, is that it’s hard to win against an opponent who acts a lot like yourself.
" Daddy…juice,"
I didn’t want Johnna to awake. After all, she is the one that works for a living. I make money being an author, but lets be honest, most people don’t consider that real work. Even big time best sellers are often ridiculed for it. I feel on a daily basis that sometimes I’m not good enough for my own family. It has a lot to do with the work. I thought that way this morning while pouring Mallory her juice, and watching her pull her " Night Nights" off on her own to go " pee pee." Everything is said in double when you’re younger.
When I look at my kids I envy them. I wish sometimes that I could go back in time and live those years all over again. Then again, my parents were quite abusive and taught me what not to teach my own children through their actions.
" Juice Daddy."
I turned and saw Mallory had poured her juice all over the floor. I stopped trying to figure out what I would cook for breakfast, and then got on my hands and knees and wiped the spill. I did a few dishes and made some coffee and breakfast. Johnna awoke around 9:45 and wanted to know why I left her sleep so late?
She works for a living, so I felt she deserved it.
She also wanted to know why there was an ANT floating in her coffee?
I can’t answer that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve steadily worked as a blue-collar employee since I was 12 years old. I worked for my mother at her answering service under the table. I had several jobs throughout my life. I mow the grass, still do heavy lifting and other "manly" things. I worked in construction for four years until I was laid off. Six months later my first novel came out.
But staying at home with kids whose eyes tell you that they depend on you is a bigger task then any cop, lawyer, writer, Doctor, blu-collar employee etc…
It’s the biggest job in the world because in a lot of ways, I got three people to answer too. Like a few jobs out there, most people answer to one boss. I answer to three.
" Juice Daddy," Mallory says. This time she is nude and has her dress wrapped around the top of her head like an Arab.
So in comes my son. He’s hungry. I fix everyone breakfast just in time to vacuum the floors, which I don’t get to do because I’m doing the dishes, while my wife gets ready for work. I pick up Mallory’s toys and put them in her room. Three dishes later, I come to find our house must be haunted because all the toys are back out in the living room. And Mallory no longer has her dress around her head thank god. No…Mallory has decided to turn her feet into coloring books.
So I try to wipe them clean. And magic marker isn’t exactly like the normal dirt you find outside. I help her with her feet, and then eventually my wife goes to work. I’m left with two content children who watch television while I finish my chores and think about the next scenes that I want to write in my new novel. I even sit down to approach this task, only to have my son tell me he’s " hungry."
So I break away from the book. ( I usually write 5,000-10,000 words a day) but that generally depends on what new fascination Mallory has. Pulling the wings off moths and then crying about it? Breaking her crayons? Just a few days ago she drew all over her face with a kids magic marker and I thought the rock band Kiss had a long lost member they were looking for.
So I push more deadlines to the side, and do what is expected of me. All I hope for is my wife to still love me, and for me to still be good at baby dancing, and for any fortune I make to be split among them. The main thing is that I still want respect. I imagine a lot of mothers who stay at home don’t get the respect they deserve. Not just from husbands, but from the kids as well.
I make french fries for Mason, because like I said, he’s hungry.
I spill the french fries all over the floor.
I make more french fries.
He doesn’t eat them.
Part of that reason, is because his Pop Pop comes home with a happy meal. And we all know how kids like those things. I end up eating more then my fair share of fries, and feel just about as much like writing the next gory scene in my book, as a man on death row feels like gardening.
Around the time my Father-in-law tucks himself away, the kids become reclusive. They sit together and every so often I hear Mallory complain by growling and hollering at Mason (who was doing nothing wrong.) I break that up, only had to do it once, twice, ten times and I go about my way, finally sitting down to write in my novel. I’m about to do a scene where a lunatic is hiding from an unsuspecting woman in a morgue when I feel a tap on my side. I turn and see Mallory with one of my t-shirts turned into what I can only assume is a dress. Her legs are sticking through the armholes and her arms and head through the other places.
" Daddy…juice."
I get her juice. I congratulate her on peeing in the potty. (We’re in the midst of potty training) and I listen to one of the most engaging stories from my 8-year old. Mason knows more about Pokemon, than the entire state of New Orleans knows about ghosts. One kid won’t stop jabbering, and the other is laughing and playing loudly with her toys.
Still, I smile and agree. Concurrence is often mistaken for senility. I don’t think so, because I love my kids and my wife and would kill for them before the next beating of a heart. It was nice to get some quiet time when 8:30 came. Mason announces that he’s going to bed and gives me a hug. Mallory follows suit because she’s in that copycat stage. I tuck them in.
I come back and start all over. The living room is filled with toys and dishes need done and this first entry to the diary needs written, but I’ll find time. I don’t believe there is actual minutes. I think sometimes there are lapses between seconds. It’s how I get things done.
Since this is an introduction, next Friday I will have a whole week’s worth of entries. They will be considerably shorter. Oh and one more thing. As I was writing this, my wife calls me. Here is the conversation that took place:
" Hello?" I said.
" Do we have any corn beef left?"
" I’m not sure."
" Can you go check?"
" Sure. Give me a second. I’m writing in this diary."
" NEVERMIND!"
Click.
Someone is having a bad night at work. So I call back.
" Do you want me to make you a sandwich?" I ask.
" No…that’s alright because I don’t know if I want tomato or corn beef."
" Are you sure?"
" Yeah I’m sure. I’ll just make it when I get home."
" Okay," I said.
" Make me a sandwich," she said.
See you next week my friends.
Eric Enck
Signing off-
Friday Five
Five things about me...
1. Yesterday was Eric and I's anniversery and I forgot about it until last night, but we had celebrated the weekend before by going out for drinks and food
2. I've had 4 surgery's
3. Eric and I had Mason before we were marred
4. I had Mason when I was 20
5. One of my fav shows in the fall/winter is One Tree Hill
1. Yesterday was Eric and I's anniversery and I forgot about it until last night, but we had celebrated the weekend before by going out for drinks and food
2. I've had 4 surgery's
3. Eric and I had Mason before we were marred
4. I had Mason when I was 20
5. One of my fav shows in the fall/winter is One Tree Hill
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The Pact
Ok , so I think I was expecting this book to be awsome because of all the hype i've heard about the author Jodi Picoult and this paticular book "The Pact". And it was. I loved every minute of this book and couldn't put it down.
The very first paragaraph of the book had me hooked..
"There was nothing let to say. He covered her body with his, and as she put her arms around him she could picture him in all his incarnations: age five, and still blond; age eleven, sprouting; age thrireen, with the hands of a man. The moon rolled, slow-eyed in the night sky; and she breathed in the scent of his skin. "I love you" she said.
He kissed her so gently she wondered if she had imagined it. She pulled back slightly, to look in his eyes.
And then there was a shot".
If that doesn't keep you wanting to read more, I don't know what would. To me, this book was about so many things. It was about love, friendship, the bonds you have with your children. It was all in all, one of the best books I've read.
so I couldn't keep it to my self and am sending it to a friend on one of the message boards I post at often.
Pick up this book and read it. Yes in parts, it is very depressing and at times I had to put it down because of it and take a break because it was making me to sad and mad at the same time. But once I finished , i was so glad I read it.
"There is no refuge from confession but suicide; and suicide is conffession - Daniel Webster
The very first paragaraph of the book had me hooked..
"There was nothing let to say. He covered her body with his, and as she put her arms around him she could picture him in all his incarnations: age five, and still blond; age eleven, sprouting; age thrireen, with the hands of a man. The moon rolled, slow-eyed in the night sky; and she breathed in the scent of his skin. "I love you" she said.
He kissed her so gently she wondered if she had imagined it. She pulled back slightly, to look in his eyes.
And then there was a shot".
If that doesn't keep you wanting to read more, I don't know what would. To me, this book was about so many things. It was about love, friendship, the bonds you have with your children. It was all in all, one of the best books I've read.
so I couldn't keep it to my self and am sending it to a friend on one of the message boards I post at often.
Pick up this book and read it. Yes in parts, it is very depressing and at times I had to put it down because of it and take a break because it was making me to sad and mad at the same time. But once I finished , i was so glad I read it.
"There is no refuge from confession but suicide; and suicide is conffession - Daniel Webster
Thursday Three
Three pics i love...
This is Eric and our friend Adam. This was taken at Eric's b day party. Adam was giving him is gift and acted like he was proposing. lol
This is Eric and our friend Adam. This was taken at Eric's b day party. Adam was giving him is gift and acted like he was proposing. lol
This is my silly girl with her undies on her head lol
This is my nephew Curran when they were here visiting and my neice Danielle behind him
Friday, August 8, 2008
Pineapple Express!
This movie, I think, was made more for the pot heads that sit inside all day and do nothing but smoke pot. I'm not really putting them down, because sure in my day, I've hit a joint or two but really, this movie just was .....a little much. The whole movie was about pot, not just in the movie , but consumed the whole movie and yeah sure I laughed at times but really I wouldnt see it again.
Now don 't get me wrong. I love comedy's. And the one main star of the movie "Seth Rogan" is in one of my all time fav movies "Knocked up" and I've loved him in other comedy's too but this one didn't do it for me and I def would let any child under 18 watch it because it will make them want to run out and smoke some....serisouly, it almost made me want to.
Our movie theater charges nine whole bucks for a movie. I really wish I had spent it on another movie that would have been worth seeing. Sure, it was nice to get out without kids and we had an awsome dinner with drinks before hand so i won't complain.
Eric loved it and thought it was great, so, that has to say something..right?
Well if you love pot and comedy's ...go and see it.
Now don 't get me wrong. I love comedy's. And the one main star of the movie "Seth Rogan" is in one of my all time fav movies "Knocked up" and I've loved him in other comedy's too but this one didn't do it for me and I def would let any child under 18 watch it because it will make them want to run out and smoke some....serisouly, it almost made me want to.
Our movie theater charges nine whole bucks for a movie. I really wish I had spent it on another movie that would have been worth seeing. Sure, it was nice to get out without kids and we had an awsome dinner with drinks before hand so i won't complain.
Eric loved it and thought it was great, so, that has to say something..right?
Well if you love pot and comedy's ...go and see it.
27 Dresses
I love me a good chick flick once in a while. I can watch just about anything. I love horror, and comedy, just not sci fi, I can't get down with that. Well it is hard to find a good chick flick lately. A lot of the new ones are , how can I put it, lame.
So the other night I was looking through on demand seeing if there was a good movie to watch. The kids were in bed and i hardly find time to watch tv, so i wanted to make sure it was a good one. I went through the whole list and watched the free preveiws. Then I cam across 27 dresses. I had seen it in the stores and always wondered about it. So I got it. Watched it. Loved it. It was a very good chick and even Eric liked it. Don't ask my dads opninon, he fell asleep half way through.
So it's not for everyone, but if you are like me and like a good romantic, with some comedy in it. Got and rent it now!!
In my movie world Eric and I rate ...buyable, good,ok, sucked, horrible.
That was def buyable!
So the other night I was looking through on demand seeing if there was a good movie to watch. The kids were in bed and i hardly find time to watch tv, so i wanted to make sure it was a good one. I went through the whole list and watched the free preveiws. Then I cam across 27 dresses. I had seen it in the stores and always wondered about it. So I got it. Watched it. Loved it. It was a very good chick and even Eric liked it. Don't ask my dads opninon, he fell asleep half way through.
So it's not for everyone, but if you are like me and like a good romantic, with some comedy in it. Got and rent it now!!
In my movie world Eric and I rate ...buyable, good,ok, sucked, horrible.
That was def buyable!
Friday Five
Five things you may or may not know about me.....
1. I live in Milton Delaware
2. I work at a gas station called Bodies
3. My middle name is Renee
4. I was born in Milford De, but raised in Lewes, De
5. I have to drink at least 2 cups of coffee a day to get me going in the morning.
TGIF!! Have a great weekend everyone!
1. I live in Milton Delaware
2. I work at a gas station called Bodies
3. My middle name is Renee
4. I was born in Milford De, but raised in Lewes, De
5. I have to drink at least 2 cups of coffee a day to get me going in the morning.
TGIF!! Have a great weekend everyone!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Back to reality
I haven't been avoiding my blog..really...i've just been doing this thing called life. Everytime I think of something clever to write about I am away from my computer and then by the time I get time to do it, i forget what it was I was going to say. It seems like if I'm not working, I'm taking care of kids, and if I'm not doing that i'm taking care of a house and if I'm not doing that I'm sleeping and ....
Today my mom took my neice, myself and my two monkeys to the mall for some school shopping. She does it every year. Mason got a hot new pair of sketchers that light up and the lights on top look like the lights on top of a police car. He was very impressed and wouldn't look at another pair after he saw those. He also got a batman bookbag to start off the year with. I tried to talk him into one that would last longer and could use more then one year, but you can't tell that to an 8 year old. So batman bookbag it is. Mallory got some clothes as well and we got a great deal on the cutest little dress. I really need to snap a pic of it. it's black with polka dots. Well being the two year old she is, and such a girly girl, she decides she wants it on NOW. She strips down and puts on the dress. Since I didn't want to have a blow out in the middle of Khols, I decided to let her wear it and would take the tag off when we got up front. My mom in the mean time is having a cow because she just knows we are going to go to jail. Ummm , mom , " It's not like were going to walk out and not pay for it". She wore the dress all day and it wasn't until i annouced bath time (which she loves) that she took it off. I also picked up some other cute dresses that were on clearnce as well and a fall outfit from target.
And man did we shop till we dropped...literally. Mallory has been out since 620pm and I tried making her wait until 7 but it just wasn't going to happen and she is nice and cozy in her bed. I think I will be following her soon.
What did I buy? I finally picked me up a copy of a Jodi Picoult book. Target had sooo many differnt ones and I didn't know which one to buy. My neice who was with me told me her favorite so far was "The Pact", so that is the one I went with. I can't wait to start reading it. I think my next Picoult purchase will be "My sisters Keeper".
Well my back has taken all it can in this chair and I think going to bed at 7, although may seem insane, is looking like a great idea
Today my mom took my neice, myself and my two monkeys to the mall for some school shopping. She does it every year. Mason got a hot new pair of sketchers that light up and the lights on top look like the lights on top of a police car. He was very impressed and wouldn't look at another pair after he saw those. He also got a batman bookbag to start off the year with. I tried to talk him into one that would last longer and could use more then one year, but you can't tell that to an 8 year old. So batman bookbag it is. Mallory got some clothes as well and we got a great deal on the cutest little dress. I really need to snap a pic of it. it's black with polka dots. Well being the two year old she is, and such a girly girl, she decides she wants it on NOW. She strips down and puts on the dress. Since I didn't want to have a blow out in the middle of Khols, I decided to let her wear it and would take the tag off when we got up front. My mom in the mean time is having a cow because she just knows we are going to go to jail. Ummm , mom , " It's not like were going to walk out and not pay for it". She wore the dress all day and it wasn't until i annouced bath time (which she loves) that she took it off. I also picked up some other cute dresses that were on clearnce as well and a fall outfit from target.
And man did we shop till we dropped...literally. Mallory has been out since 620pm and I tried making her wait until 7 but it just wasn't going to happen and she is nice and cozy in her bed. I think I will be following her soon.
What did I buy? I finally picked me up a copy of a Jodi Picoult book. Target had sooo many differnt ones and I didn't know which one to buy. My neice who was with me told me her favorite so far was "The Pact", so that is the one I went with. I can't wait to start reading it. I think my next Picoult purchase will be "My sisters Keeper".
Well my back has taken all it can in this chair and I think going to bed at 7, although may seem insane, is looking like a great idea
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